Sunday, 22 January 2012

Field Study's Man in E17 is on the trail of a missing unicorn horn

Fellow field students (you noble lot you) I hoped to report on how I have been away with the Tomato Faery, and its familiars. After a bathe in the Canal of Fire, I have to admit my proven record in maintaining a firm grasp on fantasy was sorely tested. Stop pressing matters of an indoor market kind distracted me from my quest for total immersion in the realm of spurious E17 adventure. But I am back now and I am convinced I have (indeed) been away with the Tomato Faery; a sordid tale of which more will be revealed later. Thankfully the effects of the waters of the Canal of Fire are only temporary and are quite easily expunged by an ale or two or more in rapid succession.

Before divulging the details of my exploits within the mythic bounds of the great E17 faery ring, I need to take you back to a time and place much further afield but still within the annals of Field Study's Man in E17's  'adventures'.

Way back then, before my synapses were deviously manipulated by the illuminating designs of Wood St regeneration, I reported on matters of an ornamentally prurient nature. Let me transport you back there to my piffling concerns. Firstly, I was concerned about the photographic taking of others property, and secondly, the transgression of my 'U' - suitable for all ages - rating. Well, I returned to the host venue of the magically* endowed beasts and asked if I could publish photographs of the beasts on a blog. As I understood the proprietors response, there was no problem; I could publish.

So here are some pictures of a fabulous royal coat of arms for the United Kingdom .....

Coat of Arms, The Kings Arms, Newcomen St, Borough

It is so fantastically muscular! I was informed this coat of arms was removed from a London bridge (and or thee London Bridge?) prior to the bridge's removal or destruction. Let us move swiftly on from this site of hard horn (and corn) so as to return to the more innocent, less smut hardened territory of the E17 faery ring. Of course, the smut is all in and of my mind. 

Such prowess is all well and good for the worldly centre of town but out here in the third and fourth zones of 'burbia' there are matters of modesty to be maintained; a certain decorum. We don't like show offs here. You can take that cocksure dandy-ism back to the sordidly southern shores of the Thames.

Coat of Arms - Vestry Road, Walthamstow

This is a royal coat of arms that has not lapsed into degenerate spectacle. But wait a minute; while some features are dutifully missing - or rather, appropriately (fittingly even) retracted, there is one feature I was disturbed to see missing - lost. Where is the Unicorn's horn or 'alicorn'?

What has become of the magical and medicinal properties of Vestry Road's emblem of Great British unity? 

A Unicorn missing a horn?

One of our alicorns is missing, perhaps lost. Has one of our local representatives pledged unwavering allegiance to the MiliCam-paign against total Scottish devolution and gone about de-horning the magical beasties of their powers?

Here's Marc Bolan to provide a gambolling ditty of a comment on the matter

Read his take on the situation here - 'ridden by the born of horn/ jigged like a muse on life's lawn'. 

Now here was I?

* - or 'mythically' as I preferred to say.  


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